The HA? technique.

A conversation in a Chinese shop usually goes like this:

“Hello welcome can I help you.”

“意大利经典.” (A classic Italian sandwich please.)

“你要什么面包?” (What bread would you like?)

“好的，大的…”

But occasionally, and much to my annoyance, the person behind the desk insists on using English, often very difficult to understand English. The conversation goes like this:

“Hello werrrcum, kenn-eye herrp pyu.”

“意大利经典.” (A classic Italian sandwich please.)

“You wanna which-a?” (Pointing to bread)

A confused foreigner might just shrug and try to continue in English, deciphering what the hapless sandwich maker is saying along the way. He or she misses out on a small opportunity to practice his or her Chinese. Although it’s not a large opportunity, as any language learner will tell you, every little opportunity counts, and eventually these snatched conversations go together to form a fluent mandarin speaker.

So if you ever find yourself with someone who stubbornly refuses to speak mandarin to you, I suggest my own special technique for making someone speak mandarin. Try this:

“Hello welcome, can I help you?

“意大利经典.” (A classic Italian sandwich please.)

“You wanna which-a?” (Pointing to bread)

哈？(HA?)”Which-a?” (Pointing again.)

哈？(HA?)

”你要什么面包啊！” (Which bread do you want?)

(Smile of recognition) “哦！白面包。” (Oh! White bread.)

“Big/smoh?”

哈？(HA?)”Big/smoh?” (Tries communicating with sign language)

哈？(HA?)”大的还是小的？” (Big or small size?)

“哦！大的.” (Oh! A large one.)

Etc.

You’ll notice that after each English phrase, you should reply with 哈？(HA?) This makes it clear that you don’t speak English. You might have to reply to a question with 哈 several times before the other person gets the point, but eventually they’ll start speaking Chinese to you.

And finally, I only recommend this for situations when you’re the customer in a shop. The 哈? technique is designed only for those situations when one is being served, and the person doing the serving doesn’t seem to understand that the servee wishes to practice his/her Chinese.

If a friend or one of your peers keeps answering your Chinese questions in English, you’ll need a more subtle approach.